A First For Everything

I got into town mid November and waited as long as I could before calling Ben. It wasn't long at all. I eventually broke down and left as casual a voicemail as I could fake. I doubt it was at all convincing.

He eventually called back and we met up for coffee once again. And once again it was just as amazing. Talking, laughing, sharing, could it get any easier? I highly doubted it. He was still so smart, so strong, and so damn sexy. But I was sure he felt nothing towards me, which was fine. I was just enjoying the thought that now that I was moving back to the city, maybe we could be friends.

He dropped me off at home later that night.
"It was great to see you again Kristen."
I almost died every time he said my name.
"It was great to see you too," I said, meaning every word, times ten.
"How long you in town for?" he asked.
"A few more days," I said, trying not to sound hopeful.
"Well enjoy the rest of your stay, and I'm sure I'll see you again soon."
I certainly hoped so.
"Take care!" I said and got out of the car.

I went about the next day only thinking about him a few times. I was impressed with myself actually, that I wasn't letting him affect me that much.

Then, to my delight and complete surprise, he called again.
"I just realized that I want to see you again before you go." he said, still sounding confused as to why he felt that way. But I wasn't complaining.
"Oh!" I said, slightly shocked. "Well what are you doing tonight?"
"Nothing," he replied, "Wanna just grab another coffee and chat?"
I could think of nothing else I would enjoy more.

He picked me up and we went to a different coffee shop not too far from town, to avoid being seen at the same place two nights in a row. We each got our drinks, sat down, and enjoyed each other's company.

"So what happened to the whole event management career plan?" he asked, catching me slightly off guard.
When I was first in town in October, before James and I broke up, I had told him that I was attending Mount Royal College for their Event Management Program, mostly to convince myself and him that was doing something with my life other than working alongside the rat race and paying bills.
"Oh well, I realized that I'm actually kind of against the idea of marriage in a lot of ways, so it wouldn't make sense to have planning weddings be my career of choice."
"Why is that?" he asked.
"I just think a lot of people these days get married for the wrong reasons, and that the sanctity of marriage doesn't really exist anymore. Divorce has just been made too easy. I would rather never get married and just be with someone the rest of my life because we chose to be together, not because by law we now have to."
He considered what I had just said for a moment.
"Well, there's not a lot of people like you out there, Kristen."
That wasn't the first time he had said that. It made me feel good. Did he like me? 'No', I thought. 'Don't even go there.'
"Yeah, when you told me that back in October I didn't think that was a good choice for you either. I was surprised."
He broke my train of thought.
"Oh really?" I said, taken aback. "And what makes you think that? How well do you think you know me?"
"You're easy to read," he replied matter-of-factly.
'Oh lord', I thought. Did he know how I felt about him?

"We're right by the dock where I used to row," he said, looking across the way. "The old boat house. Did you want to go take a look?"
"Sure, why not?" I said.
We crossed the street and walked down to the abandoned boat house. It was dark, and there was a slight breeze in the air. He showed me where we used to row and talked of the history of the building. I loved how much he seemed to know, about absolutely everything. It was strange how none of this knowledge would in any other case particularly interest me, but because he was saying it, because it was important to him, I found it fascinating. In fact, I found him as a person completely fascinating.

As we left the cite in silence, I had this brief moment of hope that he might lean in and kiss me. I pushed the thought away instantly. 'Stop it', I thought. 'It's not going to happen.'

We walked back to his car and started back home.
As we pulled up to the bottom of the driveway, he said, "Well, thanks again for another wonderful evening."
"Anytime," I said sincerely.

And then it happened. He leaned in and he kissed me. It was amazing. I was completely and utterly shocked.

He pulled away. I cannot for the life of me remember what I said, but I can tell you for sure it was of no intelligence whatsoever. I was stunned. I had been sure he didn't feel that way about me! Or I had convinced myself so.
"Do you have to go in right now?" he asked.
"No," I tried to say calmly. And with that, we were gone again.